


i just want (something with you)

by toomoon (jjjat3am)



Category: ONEUS (Band)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Character Study, Holding Hands, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-15
Updated: 2019-07-15
Packaged: 2020-06-29 06:18:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,371
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19824274
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jjjat3am/pseuds/toomoon
Summary: Youngjo likes being close to all of his members, likes having Dongju put his head on his shoulder or Geonhak curl into his touch or any of the myriad of ways that they let him show them he loves them.But with Hwanwoong, it’s different. Youngjo wants to touch him all the time.





	i just want (something with you)

**Author's Note:**

> This fic loosely follows the contents of ONEUS DO IT: Han River episode, with Youngjo, Hwanwoong and Dongju. You don't need to watch it, but if you want to, you can find it [here](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o_JhCtEtRpE).

There isn’t a lot of space in the tent. 

Youngjo wouldn’t say he takes advantage, but he uses the excuse of giving Dongju some more space to scoot closer to where Hwanwoong is lying. Hwanwoong runs hot where Youngjo is often cold, so it makes sense to steal some of his body heat when he can.

It makes him think, a little guiltily, of last night, the heavy press of Hwanwoong against his side, his breathing wet against Youngjo’s neck and their legs tangled together under the comforter. They sleep in the same bed more often than not these days.

Youngjo just likes being close to him. He likes being close to all of his members, likes having Dongju put his head on his shoulder or Geonhak curl into his touch or any of the myriad of ways that they let him show them he loves them. 

But with Hwanwoong, it’s different. Youngjo wants to touch him all the time.

He reaches out to smooth the jacket over Hwanwoong’s back so it isn’t riding up and gets a soft half-smile for his efforts. It means Youngjo is flustered when they start filming, and it doesn’t help that they’re supposed to act cute right away. He definitely isn’t good at that, though he’s at least marginally better than Geonhak, who looks like he’s going to cry whenever someone asks him to puff out his cheeks.

Truthfully, the only  _ aegyo _ he’s actually good at is acting like a cat, but the last time he’d done that Dongju had laughed hysterically and Hwanwoong looked constipated, so Youngjo is saving it for a fansign.

Hwanwoong leans against his side, easy and effortless for the camera in a way Youngjo can only hope to imitate. He smells like peaches, like the good shampoo he jealously hides somewhere in the bathroom so that the rest of them don’t empty it too early. It makes Youngjo want to bury his nose into his hair and curl up even closer.

He tangles their legs together instead where the camera can’t see, uses the flex of Hwanwoong’s foot to ground himself, and gives the camera his best smile, hoping that his thoughts aren’t showing on his face.

  
  


*

It’s still early autumn but the chill has already set in. The sky is unwelcoming steel and one of the producers keeps checking the weather report on his phone and frowning up at the clouds as if that’ll be enough to keep the rain away.

It’s not windy, but Youngjo is glad for his thick pink sweater anyway. It’s soft and comfortable and the sleeves are long enough to cover his hands. He curls his fingers over the edge of the sleeves and flaps his arms in Hwanwoong’s direction just to see him smile.

Hwanwoong likes him in too-big sweaters, Youngjo has learned. Not as much as he likes Youngjo in Hwanwoong’s T-shirts, the ones that are big on him but fit Youngjo almost too-tightly. Youngjo puts them on anyway, pretends he’s all out of his own because he’s used them for a DIY experiment and Seoho hasn’t done their laundry yet, but honestly it’s mostly for the proprietary way Hwanwoong looks at him, after.

It’s similar to the look he’s wearing right now, in the too small space of the stylists’ trailer, as he reaches out to curl his fingers around Youngjo’s, covered by his sleeves. 

“Cute,” Hwanwoong tells him and Youngjo’s dumb smile doesn’t leave his face for the next half hour.

  
  


*

During the walk to the convenience store, Youngjo puts his arms around Hwanwoong and Dongju’s shoulders. It’s funny because his arm fits easily around Dongju’s bony shoulders, but he keeps having to lean down to make sure he’s attached to Hwanwoong, whose shoulders are significantly lower down. Leaning down for Hwanwoong is familiar though. 

Probably once they’re old and frail, he’ll develop a permanent stoop, from bending over to hug Hwanwoong so often. He’s okay with that.

Still, he starts feeling a little self-conscious, as Dongju happily lists all the things he wants to eat, and he wonders how it must look on camera, the eldest leaning on his younger members so much. He pulls his hands back, folds them across his chest. Hwanwoong’s eyes dart to him, a question, and Youngjo smiles a little to reassure him. He’s still too aware of the camera on them, but alert enough to focus back in on the conversation when he’s supposed to.

“...but seriously, our Xion really has grown higher,” Youngjo says, smiling fondly at Dongju. He’s too aware of Hwanwoong pressing into his side, warm against the chilly afternoon. It’s hard to keep his hands to himself, but Youngjo does his best.

“He’s growing taller?” Hwanwoong asks, sounding horrified. It’s only a little for show. Yesterday, Youngjo caught him comparing the height of his shoulders to Dongju’s in the mirror and sighing. As much as Hwanwoong acts like he doesn’t mind being smaller than everyone else in the group, Youngjo knows it grates on him sometimes. He makes a quiet effort to put things he knows Hwanwoong uses on the lower shelves, though often his members have a tendency to carelessly sabotage his best efforts. 

“He’s almost as tall as I am now,” Youngjo says, bumping his shoulders into Dongju. He can’t quite contain his proud smile, even if the fear of having to look up at his youngest at some point is very real.

“Ah, I’m in trouble,” Hwanwoong sighs, and it’s so dejected that Youngjo immediately throws his arm over his shoulder so he can tug him back to his side. Caring about his own image is overrated anyway. The stylist put him in a fanny pack, so any street cred he had before this is gone. Let the whole world know he’s clingy too.

“Don’t worry,” Youngjo says, and his face only heats up a little bit, “you’re perfectly sized for cuddles.” 

Hwanwoong rolls his eyes at him, but he lets Youngjo tuck him under his chin into a brief hug as the producer calls for a cut and the cameras get readjusted. 

He doesn’t bother taking his arm away again.

  
  


*

  
  


Youngjo likes looking after his members. He doesn’t even mind cleaning up their messes or picking up after them. It makes Hwanwoong frustrated with him sometimes because he doesn’t like it when Youngjo tries to do everything himself. He’s always quick to point out to the other members that they should pick up the slack, and at this point, they don’t even really need to be reminded. Youngjo is lucky that he’s surrounded by considerate people.

Still, he feels like he’s getting away with something when he picks up their trays to put them away and throw away the trash, and when he carries their bags afterward. Hwanwoong gives him a sharp look, but Youngjo knows he won’t start a fight about it while there are cameras around. 

He knows Hwanwoong worries that he’s taking advantage of him when Youngjo picks up his chores or buys him a snack he wants. Youngjo hasn’t quite been able to explain to him why it doesn’t feel like that for him. That it’s worth it, for the brief expression of startled pleasure before Hwanwoong’s expression clouds. 

They’re slowly stumbling towards some kind of balance - Hwanwoong trusting him to know his limits and Youngjo learning how to set his boundaries. 

And Youngjo thinks, quietly, that if only the two of them had some time alone, he might be able to show Hwanwoong what he means instead of awkwardly stumbling over his words while they’re hiding under the covers of their shared dorm room. 

  
  


*

  
  


The night before filming was weird because, for the first time in a while, Youngjo slept in his bed alone. 

He doesn’t really feel upset about it. Hwanwoong and Dongju had talked late into the night, their voices a soft cadence from the living room. Dongju had been worried about the broadcast and there's only so much Youngjo can say to reassure him when he isn’t even that experienced himself. Hwanwoong was in a better position to listen to his worries. They were closer in age and Hwanwoong took to the cameras so naturally. 

Youngjo hadn’t heard them come in but he woke up in the morning alone. It filled his chest with warmth when he’d found them on Dongju’s bed, curled up like puppies. 

(It makes him happy, seeing his members helping each other deal with their burdens. There were too many friends that passed him by, into debut and moderate fame and when he’d met them, months later, their eyes had been shaded in loneliness and exhaustion. He’s determined not to let this happen to them, to this group of bright beautiful people he’s somehow found himself with. He’ll do anything to protect them from it, even if he has to tell them how much he loves them every day. Multiple times.)

Youngjo feels a little guilty about being glad that Dongju is doing the broadcast with them, but it turns out to be for the best. There’s no way that the other members would be able to contain themselves from commenting on how Hwanwoong had conveniently excluded Youngjo’s sleeping habits from his rant. 

He entertains himself with imagining what Hwanwoong might say about him. Youngjo knows he steals covers because he gets cold during the night. Hwanwoong complains often enough about Youngjo's freezing toes attaching to his shins. He mostly seems resigned to being the little spoon, which is excellent because there’s nothing Youngjo likes more than holding him to his chest, a teddy bear and a warm water bottle all in one. 

Hwanwoong dances in his sleep sometimes. It’s like he’s making up choreography in his sleep and he wiggles in Youngjo’s hold, muttering under his breath to ‘get back into formation.’ It’s equally as amusing as it is disconcerting that Hwanwoong is apparently appalled by their dancing direction even in his sleep. 

This is rare though. For the most part, Hwanwoong falls asleep the moment he closes his eyes and he stays in the same position unless Youngjo moves him around to get more comfortable. In the morning, Youngjo leaves him tucked warmly into his blankets. He’s usually up first, body conditioned to wake up early and wake up alert. He turns off his alarm just before it can ring, and gets up, brushing Dongju’s bangs away from his sleepy eyes where he’s just waking up in his top bunk, fortified by piles of plush animals.

Hwanwoong doesn’t get up until much later, so late that it’s almost too late and everyone else is already on their feet and mostly clothed. Youngjo doesn’t mind that either. He likes waking Hwanwoong up gently, when he can, stroking his hair and maneuvering his limbs into a sitting position until his eyes open. 

Sometimes he’s too busy and Seoho does it instead, unceremoniously dumping him on the ground with his blanket as Keonhee takes pictures. 

  
  


*

  
  


They get a few minutes of downtime after the shoot. Their manager is somewhere, trying to wrangle a car to pick them up, and Dongju is standing a few paces behind them, talking on the phone in a soft voice, far enough that Youngjo can’t make out the words. Hwanwoong is sitting beside him on the bench, quietly contemplating the river. 

It’s late afternoon, fading into twilight, as the streetlights blink on one by one. Youngjo stays fixated Hwanwoong’s profile, the play of shadows across his face. The shape of his body is both familiar and alien in the strange setting, the dim light of the sunset mingling with the warm sepia of the street light to accent Hwanwoong’s features, soften the shape of his mouth and darken his eyes.

“You’re looking at me again,” Hwanwoong says softly, and Youngjo is startled to realize he’s looking back.

“I’m always looking at you,” drops from his mouth, mostly without his consent. Hwanwoong ducks his head shyly, mouth curving in a pleased smile.

“How can you just say things like that so easily?” Hwanwoong says, shaking his head as if to clear it. “Once our fans learn about this side of you, there’ll be no stopping them.”

Youngjo doesn’t know what to say to that. Suddenly, Hwanwoong’s gaze seems too intense to meet, so he looks away, staring at the river lazily drifting past, at the multitude of lights winking into existence in the distance. There’s a song in that, he thinks, the beat just at the edge of his awareness, the melody just waiting to spring free.

Hwanwoong touches his hand, startling him. The music is gone, but Hwanwoong’s fingers are warm against his. Youngjo uncurls his hand from the fist he’s been unconsciously making and lets Hwanwoong tangle their fingers together.

His gaze drops to their joined hands and for a moment, fear sits heavy in his stomach. They’re two barely debuted idols, holding hands in public, in a place where anyone could see - their manager, Dongju, the brief illumination of a phone camera. But, it’s a familiar fear, and easy to lessen, to tuck away into a dark place of his soul where he keeps all his other nightmares.

It’s been a nice day. Even the fine dust seems to be giving it a break, because Youngjo feels like he can take a full breath, sweetly filling his nose with the wet smell of the river and Hwanwoong’s cologne. The air is cool, but Hwanwoong is warm against his side, his slighter fingers perfectly fitted around Youngjo’s.

Youngjo looks and finds Hwanwoong smiling, soft and content, mirroring the smile he feels stretching his own mouth. The only thing that could possibly make it better is being able to lean over and press their smiles together and steal the air from Hwanwoong’s lungs, the rest of the world fading away.

He can’t do that right now, but that’s okay. There’ll be plenty of time for that later, safely hidden away in their dorm, under their blankets, surrounded by the sleepy sounds of people who love them. 

It’s not perfect, but it’s theirs. Youngjo scoots just that little bit closer into Hwanwoong’s space, stealing his body heat, and feels content.

**Author's Note:**

> Find me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/leewoong)//[CC](https://curiouscat.me/hwansloth)
> 
> Don't forget to stream Twilight and leave me a comment if you liked this.


End file.
